Wednesday. March 8, 2011.
I should be getting dressed to go to work. But do I feel like it? Do I ever? Yes, believe
it or not. Sometimes I do. I am not one to sit and do nothing.
Unless I am sick.
However...nothing is what I feel I am doing. All the plans Pepe and I had of acomplishing
certain goals before he left are going down the drain.
But at least we are together.
One week. Just one week before my husband returns to Spain...and we feel stuck and
confused. I mean really stuck... and really confused. Like in "What have we done?"
and "How do we get out of this?"
And you are probably wondering why....WHY...don't I just pick up and leave? Well, for
those of you that have been reading for over 52 WEEKS and for those of you who
haven't, and are new to my blog...there are several reasons that are tying me to Auburn,
Georgia, U.S.A.
1) I/we want to be debt free. It is very necessary. I can't. I won't. I refuse to start a
new life, while paying debts from my old life. AND since we would be starting practically
from scratch in Spain...it will take $$$.
In our original plan...this would have been acomplished while Sandra graduated from
college. She hasn't yet. She is running "behind". So are we. As Forrest Gump said,
"Shit happens".
More reasons:
2) This year's taxes were not what we expected and have derailed us from our course...
slightly.
3) Although we have made some progress getting rid of some of our things. There still
is a garage full of "stuff". Mostly not mine. Long story. I will have one more garage sale
and if they don't go... there is always donation. Hopefully, this Sunday...just about
all will go to Goodwill.
Now... two big fat reasons:
4) In order to rent my house, my mortgage payment needs to be covered, or at least most
of it. So far everyone interested in the house can't afford it....
5) Selling is out of the question. Foreclosures in this area have knocked out all
equity off our home. Asking price would be below what we owe on it! If you were
in our shoes...would you sell?
And the most recent addition to our reasons:
6) Because I need to wait and see if the two peas that left the pod, will adjust to their new
life. You see Mama-Pea here knows her Daughter-Pea better than she thinks...and I
didn't see her happy. So I don't want to be too far just in case she changes her mind.
Most likely she will. It's only been one day...and she has changed her mind twice already.
For my peace of mind. I NEED to see Sandra settled and content. Because once I leave
I will be very far away.
And of course there is more, but I can't get any deeper than this.
************
NOTE: Today is Ash Wednesday. I must add that tonight, after Mass, I felt much more
at ease. A sense of relief came over me...I know all will settle into place. I just need
to be patient and wait. I am happy that Lent has started. Less of me and my problems ...
and more of Him.
Yes...that will be good.
