« POTATOES FOR SUCKERS | Main | IS IT WEEK 11 OR 12? LOOSING TRACK OF TIME,,, »

Monday, May 10, 2010

HILDA'S TOP 10 WORST BLIND DATES...

6013_1123061969676_1620904130_290540_5059086_aYou have to admire my sister Hilda's passion for

finding the right guy. An incurable romantic

she is. Hard headed too!

It's a jungle out there, and she is willing to hunt 

the right man down even if she has to deal with

some of the worst BLIND dates in  dating history!!!


HERE ARE HILDA'S  TOP 10 WORST BLIND DATES:


25539_10150138554975375_837120374_11462013_7410331_s Mr. Shy         Alias: Turtle Neck


You can imagine Hilda's face when she met him at a

restaurant. The waitress had a very difficult time trying to

understand what Mr. Shy tried to order. Dinner was quiet...

he didn't speak much. Hilda ate while he  stared at her.





6328_130191819544_597404544_2318261_3849542_a Mr. Baabapolous       Alias: Stinky


Hilda met him at a park at his request. He had a flock of

sheep with him. It seemed Mr. Baabapolous never left home 

without them. He requested Hilda milk the sheep, and sing 

'Mary had a Little Lamb'. Hilda refused. He said, "BAAAH, 

you no good for  make feta cheese". End of date.


               

12931_212099924544_597404544_3036643_5529493_s

 

Mr. Jim Johnson and Mr. John Johnson.

Alias: The Jokers.


These two fellows were loud and  obnoxious. They paid more

attention to each other than to Hilda. All through dinner they

told stupid jokes, and laughed their butts off. When it was

time to pay, they passed the bill to Hilda. 


                                                                                                                             S1098616138_30186904_5331 Mr. HaSands                  Alias: The camel


He told Hilda he was from the Arab Emirates, and in the US 

doing business. She figured he would pick her up in a

 limo. The guy was actually a camel trader from Morocco. 

He showed up in an old, beaten car, and took her to eat at a friends

house where he sacrificed a goat in front of her. Hilda called 911. 


27781_397398629544_597404544_3951257_5614363_s Mr. Cannon               Alias: Deceiver


Her friend said film maker. Hilda thought it would be interesting

to go out with someone in the movie business. He brought his

camara and filmed Hilda while she ate. During dinner 

Hilda asked him what was his latest film. He replied he made

home movies, not movie films. He then added that he worked 

at the at Kodak plant making rolls of film. He paid for the

 hot dogs. 


5928_1211783655369_1252096824_612924_133565_s Mr. Waters                  Alias: Lunch meat


Hilda was looking forward to going out with Mr. Waters, a Marine Biologist

and shark expert. When she saw him, she really thought she had

finally met Mr. Right.  They went off to have lunch at high sea. A storm

caught them by surprise.The boat sank. He was eaten by sharks. Hilda

was rescued 3 days later by the Coast Guard. She has never seen 

"Shark Week" again.


S837120374_5556234_9998 Mr. Blues                Alias: The Poet


Donna, one of Hilda's friends, set her up with a "kind, sensitive, and soft

spoken man". Look at that photo ...Mr. Poet was  Hilda's most 

depressing date ever! He recited his poetry to Hilda, while sobbing!

His pathetic face haunted Hilda for days....


S1098616138_30195446_6399 Mr. Young                              Alias: Mummy


Hilda was impressed with Mr. Young's e-mails. He seemed a very 

mature man...He would pick her up at home, and take her to the 

Egyptian exposition at the museum. That night when Hilda opened 

the door to Mr. Young she fainted. When she woke up, took a

 second look, and heard him wailing''AAAAUUUGH...OAOAAAOOGH...

OOOGHHHHHHH...AAAARRRRRR!!!!" she fainted again. The next

day she was found,  inside a golden sarcophagus going back to Egypt, 

by a customs agent that heard "suspicious noises" coming from a box.   


       S1647003030_73600_6997 

 Mr. Johny Walker                     Alias: Robot-o


This was Hilda's worst nightmare come true. It was New Year's Eve.

Mr. Walker asked her to meet him at Barney's Bar. When Hilda got 

there he had already been partying with some Asian chics, and was

dancing like a robot on a table. Shortest date until now.


S1252096824_363629_7074473 Mr. Nappy                          Alias: Sleepy Beauty


Hilda's oddest date. Mr. Nappy was truly a sweet man... that is, 

the little time he spent awake. He fell asleep while having lunch, 

at the movies, putting gas,  in the car....at the park...and saying

good bye to Hilda. Hilda called a cab. The cab driver had a hard time

picking him off Hilda's lawn.

 


                                            

                                     



  
 








Posted at 11:58 PM |

|

Comments