IT'S TUESDAY AND I AM OFF
THE SUN IS SHINNING
I HAD A MELTDOWN
Last night I stayed up later than I should have. I was having so much fun with
the "Desperado" post, that I lost track of time. When I was done, it was 1:45 AM.
I actually laughed, and rapidly jumped in my bed. I was a bad girl. I shouldn't have
stayed up this late, but maybe I will get lucky and sleep until late. I thought...9:30
would be fantastic. But, I had a feeling I was going to be real sorry for staying up
that late....
Oh, what a night... I had nightmares. I would wake up, then fall asleep.Wake up
again, then fall asleep. I remember looking at the clock...2:48 AM, 4:58 AM and
at 6:38 AM. I said "what is up with the eights... that's so weird !" then closed
my eyes again. At 7 AM, I got up. No use trying anymore. As I walked down the
hallway that goes from my bedroom to the kitchen, I yawned, and rubbed my
eyes. I opened the cabinet where I keep my coffe jar, took the jar out and set it
on the the counter.While I continued with the preparation of my morning coffe
routine, I calculated how many hours of sleep I had....YAWN...fantastic, I thought,
a whole 5 hours and 15 minutes of INTERRUPTED sleep !
Pepe and I, finally coincided on a day off from work. We talked as I had coffe, and
planned to do a video conference around 2 PM, Atlanta time. Sandra had a few
errands to run, and I stayed home with Alonso. I tried to do some house work.
However, over two hours later, when Sandra got home, I hadn't acomplished much.
I was feeling worn down from lack of sleep...and FRUSTADED. I had not been
able to get as much done as I wanted to. I am not wonder woman anymore.
I hadn't had a chance to get in the shower, and I had wanted to curl my hair so
Pepe would see me half decent, but it was time for the video conference. Sandra
set the camara and started dialing. What do I look like? I rushed to the bathroom.
I stood in front of the mirrow. "Bad ...this is bad !!!! Look at you" I said to the
woman in the mirrow. I looked horrible...HORRIBLE !!!!! No make up. The huge
dark circles around my eyes made me look like a Panda bear, and to make it worse,
there was no time to jump in the shower and wash my hair.
I heard they were having technical dificulties. I kept hearing Sandra... " Can you hear
me ? Do you see me ?" I thought that maybe I still had a chance to get in the shower.
NO, it's too late! I heard Sandra again, talking to Mayra - "Let's try again...I hear
you now, but I can't see you". Meantime in the bathroom...I was trying to do
something with my hair....I put it up, then down. Either way it was bad. When I
put my hair up I look ten years older. If I put it down IT WAS DISGUSTING.
NO, NO, NOOOOOOOOO !!!! Juana, you look like an old witch....all YOU need is
the broom ! Forget this...pony tail it is. BLAAAH!.
Before I continue, I would like to say this: I am not a romantic person. My
daughters can vouch to that. I am not a vain person either. But, it WAS the first
time Pepe was "seeing" me, and I did care that I looked so worn out in only 4
weeks.
Sandra was sitting in the dining room, and had Alonso on her lap. She was chatting
with her dad and laughing, when I came around the table I stood by her and peeked
at the laptop's screen to see Pepe. He of course could not see me. HE looked great.
younger than when he left ! I thought I was going to die right there. How on earth
was he going to see me like this.....I felt tears filling my eyes..... No way, NO WAY
I was not getting in front of that camara. I told Sandra in panic mode..."I can't do
this, not today...look at me ...look at me". I dashed to the kitchen and cried bent over
the counter.
-- "Hold on dad, let me see what's going on with mom"
She got up and was standing by me asking - "MOM, what is wrong with you ?"
--"What's wrong? What's wrong ? Look at your dad ! He looks great and look at me"
WAAAAAH....WAAAAAAAAH...WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH ...I CRIED.
--"MOM, HE WANTS TO SEE YOU" and she walked over to the laptop to explain
to her dad what was going on, then came back.
--"It's OK mom...he wants to see you. PLEASE ! Mom....what is it?"
--"I AM... F#!@$%!G TIIIIIIIRED....THAT'S WHAT I AM...TIRED , TIRED !!!"
Sandra was in shock...her mom said the F word...."What did you say? What did you say?"
"You heard me ....ANYWAYS, I have things to do...I need to go to the post office". She
went back to to the laptop. I went to my bedroom, got my purse, my packages, and flew
down the stairs and into my car, crying all the way to the post office.
TO BE CONTINUED
