CAVEMEN PLANTAINS.

 

SOMETIME B.C.

 

A hunter was out for the kill. The mammoth was unaware. Ugah-man was

ready to throw a large boulder at the giant, when a  tyranowasp stung him in the

arm, causing him to drop the boulder on his foot...and yell bloody cave murder!!!

To his dismay...the mammoth ran away...now what, he thought, scratching

his head. Ugah-man was exhausted and badly hurt ...he needed to get home.

 But, what would he take to his Ugah-woman for food!!! He wondered for

days dragging his swollen foot... with not even a  tyronamouse in sight! 

Suddenly, he  found a tree with some strange things hanging..he smelled

them...grabbed as many as he could drag in his large hobbo-sloth-skin bag

and  headed to his cave praying to earth, wind, and fire that they would

be edible...

 

When he got home his Ugah-woman said, " Well, it was about time...where

in  the rolling stones have you been?"

He answered, "Honeysaurus, don't be mad...I got us something to eat! LOOK!"

She took one and smelled it and tried a bite, but it was too hard...so she tried peeling it...

Then cut it in pieces with her sabertooth knife...a wedding present from her next cave neighbors.

 

Then tried a piece...and said "YUCK"...maybe it should be cooked, she thought and took out her giant shell frying pan  and heated some mammoth oil...Hmmmm....she thought....hmmmm ...I hope it's edible!

She fried them in medium heat, until they were a golden color, then waited for them to cool.

Then she tried one...and said, "This is no good Ugah-man...I should have

listend to my Ugah-mom and not married you! You can't bring food to the

rock table!!!"

OH, that caveman had it....and let his fist down on the slate kitchen counter 

 over and over again...smashing the chunks of unknown whatevers, that ended up

looking like this:

They started fighting, throwing rocks at each other, spitting, biting, kicking, pulling 

each other's hair until they were out of breath...and starving...they needed to

eat!!! The Ugahs looked at each other, then the smashed up whatevers,and

wondered what would happen if they fried them again...

When they were golden brown they took them out and decided add some salt, before they tried a bite...

 

It was cave love at first bite!!! Crunchy, salty and delicious...it would have gone

great with mammoth stew, but...who was complaining? They gave it a name...

tostones, which means, "edible whatevers"...or in plain English, plantains. 

Ever heard the saying...

 

Better to hold an "edible whatever" in your hand, than to see 

a Mammoth running away!

Me neither.....