YOU MIGHT WANT TO CATCH UP BY READING:
START AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS BLOG TO UNDERSTAND BETTER...
BITS AND PIECES OF MY LAST WEEKS
Written September 5, 2011
Dear family and friends: This blog will hopefully be ending in December. I say hopefully
because you know how well plans turn out for my husband, Pepe, and I. Nevertheless,
although I haven't bought our usual Delta tickets yet, I have given notice at work that this is
my last month with the company. This will allow me to get rid of my wordly possesion during
the months of October and November, rent my house (hopefully), and maybe even try to
publish my book, FOOD STORIES.
Deep down I was really hoping that Between U.S. A and Spain would have a feel good
ending. A fun ending. Like in the movies; Where something extraordinary happens to
the main character. Oh, you know... I get a letter from a publisher that says "YES" to my
book and I do a little funky dance with the letter in hand. Or... perhaps something more
dramatic; The phone rings as I am about to take a shower. I answer. A publisher is
interested in my book and I am so ecstatic with the news that after hanging up I run
outside my house gushing tears and crying out, "I did it, I did it!!" while jumping
across my lawn, wearing nothing but my bra and panties because these past 18 months...
actually had a purpose!!
But then, one alarmed, blind-peeking neighbor calls the Auburn police, who arrive quickly to
whisk me away for indecent exposure of fatty rolls. Simultaneously a limousine drives up
and... Richard Gere Pepe, dressed in a tux and carrying a single, red rose explains to the police
he will take care of me. He gently covers my shoulders with his jacket... and carries me to
the limo. I look at my husband lovingly and say, "I have been waiting for you so long! Let's not
EVER make plans again!"
We wave goodbye to the policemen who are now sobbing from the touching scene, and Pepe
and I kiss as the limosine heads to Hartsfield International Airport. Later that evening Delta's
flight 108 heads for Spain. Juani and Pepe are on board.
Wouldn't that be sweet!!
Instead, it looks like Between U.S.A and Spain will have more of a tear jerker for an end.
NO! Not even that... I'll have one of those endings where people go out of the theater
saying with a puzzled face, "WHAT kind of an ending WAS THAT?!"
Anyway, regardles of the ending... I can't wait. I have lost all interest in this movie blog
of mine. Actually, I have lost all interest... in just about everything.
WHY? Because, these last few weeks have been pure turmoil. And there seems to be
more in my horizon... Ugh!
I just wish I was a stronger and more positive person. I try to be. I do. But, I get tired of
this river of complications and it's currents that drag me down. All I know is that somewhere
between my last "WEEKLY" post and today, September 5th, 2011... I have lost my North,
my drive, my groove, my mojo, and... whatever else you want to call it.
Also, lost are my last nerve and my mind. And to top that... I have lost my daugther Mayra's
house keys, which I am still frantically searching for, due to the dire situation with the renters...
And where are my new sunglasses? And my notes? And my debit card?
I seem to be losing everything but the pain I have bottled up inside...
I am sure you must be wondering what drove me to write the above.
Today, September 15
TEN long, long, long, long, long days after I started writing the above post,
I feel a little better...
And I feel I should share it,
Because IT IS WHAT IT IS-
It' what has been going on in my life
As I wait to return to Spain with my husband.
Isn't that what this blog is all about?
Now, I am going to turn back time...
August 21, 2011
August 21, 2011... just one day before Alonso's birthday. Thank God the day was promising.
My son Chris and his wife, Beth have recently moved into their new place in Sandy Springs and
I was going to spend the day with them. I knew Beth, who has two jobs, needed some help
cleaning and organizing, so I volunteered to help out.
I don't believe I've ever had a more fervent desire to grab a broom and sweep... Which is
funny because I couldn't lift a finger in my own house. Reasons? Well, for the most part I
was busy sitting frozen stiff on my sofa staring at the blue and whilte walls of my home.
I stared at the walls because it was a way of avoiding the floors that were covered with...
well... stuff. And If I sat, I didn't have to walk over the mess. See? Staring was easier.
But I did find time for other things such as crying... or sleeping... or watching silly movies
with Adam Sandler, Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore until I fell asleep on my green sofa.
All very valid reasons not to pick up a broom, clean the kitchen, or make my bed.
Don't you agree?
So good. Today I wasn't going to be alone. And I wouldn't be thinking about how miserable
I am since my last argument with Sandra. I was going on a Sandy Springs getaway. Time to
focus on something else. Time to stop replaying the moments that led to a major break
down, and things went flying about- inside the house and outside. Surprised? Why? Haven't
you seen this in movies? One doesn't have to be crazy. A good amount of hurt is sufficient.
I found my way to my son's new place thanks to my GPS. It's only 15 minutes away from
his old apartment, but the area was so dlifferent! Nice though. I liked it. Beth had gone to
the supermarket for a moment, but Chris, his step-brother Christian, and the puppies
were home. So they showed me around the new living quarters, and had frothy esspresso
while Beth returned. The townhouse was luminous and lovely. I felt like in an Oasis.
When Beth got home, I thought we'd be getting down to the nitty gritty right away. But she
wanted to check out an antique store that was close by. So she and I went, while Chris
worked on his last project. And it was simply delightful to walk around the eye catching
antiques and converse. She didn't find the table she was looking for, but at least we had a
good laugh when we were leaving; A father, nonchalantely pushing an infant in a stroller passed
right infront of us leaving a most horrible, poopy-diaper stench floating in the air. And don't you
think for a moment, he was heading out to change the child...
Beth and I were two very busy bodies the rest of the afternoon. I opted for the downstars.
She did the upstairs. It was fun. I was actually loving it. It was a good workout, yet a breeze
compared to what I would have to face a couple of weeks later when Mayra and Raul's
sneaky tenats left their house without notice... Anyway, another burst of laughter came
after I was done downstairs and up I went to ask Beth if I should maybe do Christians's
bathroom. Before she answered "I think he can do it himself" I had taken the rug off the
bathroom's floor. Right away Christian comes out of his room sees me there just outside
his bathroom holding the rug, and says with a big smile on his face as he looked around,
"Oh, thank you! But you didn't have too. It looks great! Really, thank you." I responded
laughing and pointing at the rug on my arm, " Christian, I haven't touched a thing except
this rug. But thank YOU for being so grateful about it!" The look on his face was priceless.
Later, as we rested awhile in the living room and chatted away the hours, Beth mentioned
that she'd like to learn how to make my cornfritters. Well, no problem! It would be a
pleasure to teach her. We would have some fun in the kitchen. But first, we went to the
supermarket for the ingredients. Down one isle... up the other... looking for corn, baking
powder, eggs and oil. What a different kind of day I was having compared to my daily
boring routine. And to top it off those corn fritters turned out delicious! And I didn't lift a
finger- except to show her how to turn them. But best of all, is that we created a memory
Woo- hoo!! Way to go Beth!!
TA- DAAAAA! Mother-in-law approved corn fritters!
It was 10 P.M. when I actually headed back home with my car's window open to enjoy the
night's cool air. Light traffic at this time of the night on I-85. The dark road and the distant
red taillights always remind me of airport runways. I wished. I wished I would soon be on one.
Exactly sixty minutes after my departure I arrived at my driveway. In another sixty minutes my
grandson, Alonso, would officially turn three years old. I got out of the car wondering what had
happened to us in those three years... that day we were all so happy! I opened my door. There
I was... back to my silent blue and white walls.
In bed I listened to my friends the criquettes. They are my company until I drift away to dream.
And in the distance I heard the midnight train's whitle. I closed my eyes and saw myself on
that train not caring where it would take me... as long as it was far away from this house...
these blue and white walls... this silence.
Yes, train. Take me. Take me on a long, long, getaway.
Two days later...
Phone call from Mayra: Sandra has asked me to ask you, if you would be willing to take
care of Alonso tomorrow. She has started school and no one takes care of Alonso like you do...
There was a lot more to this, but I am not going into details...
Basically, I responded: Tell your sister I will. She can drop him off, but that is it...
I read her last text messages to me again, just to remind me to forgive but not forget.
Result of phone call: I get to see my grandson two days after his birthday and have
an initmate celebration...
Certainly not a "Wilton" quality cake, but it sure delighted him!!
Just look at that cute face! And he did so well cutting the cake. One piece
for me... and one for him... This party for two turned out to be lots of fun!
And I will never, ever forget the hugs he gave me that day after being apart
for what seemed to be an eternity...
Lots more to follow soon with. I promise.
I have missed you and your comments very much!!