April Thu 5 - Wed 11
TALKING TO MYSELF.
My body was sleeping, but my mind woke up. I couldn't believe it. Again? Do I really have
to go through this again? I bet It's around five, I can actually feel the dark circles under my
eyes getting darker....I need to rest. I need to rest. I need to rest! I whispered, "Just don't
start thinking, Juani, maybe you can fall asleep again. Shhhhhh! Don't think! ".
I laid there. Eyes closed. Didn't move a muscle. All curled up on that green, corduroy sofa,
trying to keep my mind blank. I breathed in. I exhaled slowly. Did that several times thinking
that might relax me enough go back to sleep. Deep down I knew that wasn't going to work...
What I needed to was change positions. I was actually uncomfortable. I asked myself,
why? WHY, since Pepe returned to Spain, do I turn into a 152 lbs fetus during the night?
Next thing I knew, thoughts started streaming in: My Sandra and her dilemas... Alonso's
therapy... Maricela's goodbye party... the speeding ticket... and more, and more, and
more thoughts. It was better to open my eyes, and forget about sleeping. But I couldn't,
being so tired... I had technical difficulties with my eyelids, so I settled for a squint.
I looked around the living-room with my squinting eyes and I saw total darkness through the
slits of the window's blinds. I was sure it was 5 A.M.! What had I slept, four hours? Upset,
I whined, "Oh-ho- ho- ho-noooo, nooo, nooooo!! Still dark!!". Well, I sure wasn't
getting my beauty sleep that night. It was time to make some fresh coffee, but
first a good stretch. I shut my eyes again, yawned, and slowly stretched my arms
up into the darkness, then unfolded my my poor, numb legs.
I stretched out real good. As a matter of fact, I guess I stretched too much, because it
caused a muscle to cramp in the back of my thigh! Ouch... ouch.... ouch!! I held my breath.
I held my thigh with both hands. I shook my head frantically. Somebody help me! As the
pain lessened I started laughing... for I had a vision. Yes, a vision! I saw a hurt, head
shaking, big nosed, 152 lbs, squinting, whining fetus, on a green sofa, in a dark, dark house.
Gosh, I was a perfect character for a Stephen King novel!
I decided not to make coffee and stay on the couch, I didn't want to pull any more muscles.
I closed my eyes again. But now I felt a bit chilly. I taunted around with my hands until I
found the edge of my blue, velvety blanket and pulled it up to my tired eyes. I turned over
on my right side and faced the large sofa pillows. I said to myself, maybe you should try that
"OOOMMM" thing, and empty your mind of thoughts. It might just work and put you
to sleep!! In a low voice I said, OOOMMM..........OOOOMMMM......OOOOM..... OOOMY
how I wish Pepe was here. I am so ready to leave.......OOOMMMM........I hope Sandra finds
a daytime job soon... MHHMMM..... I need a vacation.... I do... I do.... I do.... hmmm...
sounds like an ABBA song.....OOOOOOMMMMM.......I want to escape..... OMMMMM....
OOOOMMMM....not deal with anything anymore! OOOMMM... .....OOOMMM.....
OOOMMM-MY-GOD! What the heck am I doing? This is so boooooring and it's not working!
I turned and laid on my back. I opened my eyes wide and stared at the white vaulted ceiling.
The darkness was fading away as I asked myself, why did I get married so young?
I should have become a nun! I am tired of everything....I really need some days off..... Pepe
will understand.....I sighed... Pepe...Pepe... Pepe....you have it so much easier than me.
And then a familiar rush of heat ran from my lower back up to my ears. I quickly uncovered
myself as I said, HOT FLASH! HOT FLASH.... ARRRGH!!! That's it!! I am getting up!!.
I walked toward the kitchen complaining, wondering, praying that I might get some
sleep the next day. After all, now that I knew Sandra would be staying for good, I was
claiming my bed back!
On the way to the kitchen I passed a small mirror and caught my reflection. I stopped
and saluted the old lady in the mirror.
Then said, " Lady, you got some
pretty deep, scary-looking
crevices there, running down
from your forehead to your chin!!
YAWN... STRETCH... YAWN...
Tell you what. I'll give you some
advice: DON'T EVER sleep on a sofa
that has corduroy pillows..."
I stepped into the kitchen and made myself a good pot of coffee. Maybe a few cups
could help me think a little bit better...
P.S. I hope you didn't my a little dark humor!